Austen characters as John Mulaney quotes

theartofangirling:

Elizabeth Bennet:

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Mr. Darcy:

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Mr. Bingley:

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Jane Bennet:

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Mrs. Bennet:

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Mr. Bennet:

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Mr. Collins:

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Lydia Bennet:

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Lady Catherine:

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Wickham:

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Anne Elliot

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Captain Wentworth:

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Fanny Price:

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Edmund Bertram:

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Mr. Knightley:

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Emma Woodhouse:

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Harriet Smith:

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Frank Churchill:

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Jane Fairfax:

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Catherine Morland:

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Mr. Tilney:

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Elinor Dashwood:

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Marianne Dashwood:

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Edward Ferrars:

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Colonel Brandon:

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(via inkweaverabc)

gluey-porch-treatments:

iprayinthespeech:

gluey-porch-treatments:

just-shower-thoughts:

Cinnamon is just delicious sawdust.

… No?

It’s true! Cinnamon (or more commonly cassia because it’s cheaper) is the bark from trees of the Cinnamomum family. It curls up when it’s been peeled and dried, thus cinnamon sticks. But we grind it down to use it, so it’s pretty much sawdust.

Well shoot. I guess you really do learn something new every day

(via punk-rowan)

yaoi-smasher6969:

anyway, my older sister was adopted when she was almost 16 (kinda on accident too), and because of that she got away from an abusive household, went from barely passing classes to being an honour student, and launching into a career where she’s happy and healthy and paying her own way. just two years of parenting where she had 3 meals a day, a bedtime, and parents to help and protect her changed her life radically. Plus, i got an older sister

adopt teenagers.

(via sunnydaze1230)

psychotictea:

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

chickenfarmersan:

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i fucking lost it when she opened the fridge

A big mood

(via bonnentrunes)

lord-kitschener:

Dudes really talk a lot about No Nut November considering how many of their girlfriends have been doing a No Orgasm for the Entire Damn Relationship

(via bonnentrunes)

squeezemetillipop:

antlersdean:

queefjerkey:

do you ever use a pen and you’re just blown away by how smoothly it glides across the page and how the ink flows out so beautifully like tears of jesus or something

Some people must experience the world in a more exciting way than I do

Oh I’m a slut for good pen

(via bonnentrunes)

taakoposting:

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Im just fucking sitting…. keep scrolling

(via thevioletowl)

louisa0000:

my child

(via sunnydaze1230)

fourforyouodo:

I’m Gonna Be (500 miles) is honestly just such a pure, solid good song. The lyrics are cute af and actually resemble a long-term committed and happy relationship and to top it all off you can scream ‘DAHDADADA’ and the top of your lungs in a pub and someone will scream it back to you. 

(via cursedbinch)

incorrectkingkillerquotes:

zohbugg:

This whole bit is the hardest I have ever laughed in my entire like please go watch his entire Netflix special

This part is just perfect for the whole series.

(via nettlewildfairy)